A Journey in Secular Parenting

November 2011Monthly Archives

Positive Parenting – Finding Clever Ways To Navigate Through Growing Up

Positive Parenting – Finding Clever Ways To Navigate Through Growing Up

Article by Fred Gilbert

Sometimes it is hard to distance ourselves, when we are parenting, from experiences that we had in our teenage years with our own parents. Parents sometimes do not realize that the way they parent their children can have both positive and negative impacts. If you want to learn how to be a great parent, usually you have to learn from the mistakes that you experienced, and not repeat them with your own kids. Parents, and soon-to-be parents, should learn the skills as quickly as possible. Therefore, it is necessary that you learn these skills which will allow you to be a positive influence in your children’s lives so they can be the same with their own.

Start observing your children and learn a little more about them each day, because this is the first step to realizing we are all individuals and we should all be respectful of one another. Sometimes people make the mistake of actually believing that by watching their kids they are actually learning about them. The reason you want to find out more about their personalities is so that you can help them out as they grow up. Understanding your kids is knowing their good sides and their bad sides as well. Understanding your kids in such detail enables you to be a better parent, allowing you to be there for them at the right times and say what needs to be said.

Children need a disciplined life at home, that includes good habits, consistent routines and good health. Knowing what is expected of them must be an integral part of family life.

There are many positive reasons for your children to know what is expected of them. The main reason young children join gangs is because they want to belong, and they don’t feel they belong to their own family. Having a role in a family gives children the desire to better themselves, not only at home, but at school. A sense of belonging to a family gives a child a stronger desire to know what will help the family as a whole, even the part homework plays out for the greater good. A sense of responsibility will also be developed along the way, as well.

Many times parents order children to do things that they hate, so did this ever happen to you as a child? Nobody likes washing the dirty dishes, or doing normal chores, but that is not what we are talking about. More significant activities such as engaging in a particular sport or taking piano lessons, etc.

It is great to push a child, and support a child, but this should only be in the direction the child would like to go, because it won’t profit much if the child doesn’t have desire. Nothing is more frustrating than watching a child try to live up to a parents expectation when there is no desire. Parents should find out what their children have passion for and push them in that direction by being honest about their abilities. Once you become a parent, you will understand that it is a very tough job, something that you can’t know unless you experience it firsthand. Yes, we all know it is a hard job to do, at times, but fortunately and hopefully it is one that is based on complete and unconditional love and acceptance. As parents, we know this is the most important aspect of parenting that exists.

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What Are Parenting Plans?

What Are Parenting Plans?

Article by Lil Lyon

How do parenting plans, custody arrangements, and custody agreements differ? Parents absolutely control parenting plans. Together, these ex-spouses draft a written document that describes the financial and daily responsibilities of each parent. Parenting plans also detail who makes the decisions and when for the children. Thirty states require plans designed by the parents to be filed right along with the final child custody agreement that is enforced by the courts.

Custody arrangements are workable terms of the custody agreement that include legal or physical custody, joint custody, sole custody, physical joint custody, or legal joint custody. They describe where the children will live, where they will travel, where they will go to school, and medical decisions.

The custody agreement is the actual detailed legal document that is enforceable by the courts. When drafting an arrangement that will become an agreement, it is important to include a clause that allows for change in the agreement. That way as the needs of the children change, so goes the custody arrangement. As the dust of divorce settles, parents often look back and wish they had waited to make major decisions.

The parent with sole custody will obviously make all the decisions for the kids. But when joint custody in the agreement, parents share the decision-making and parenting plans itemize the decisions that will be made by which parent and when.

Plans for parenting break down even the day-to-day details of the main caregiver. The main areas of concern in plans for parenting are schools, medical, finances, and religion. Some issues may need to be renegotiated every couple of years.

Other categories of renegotiation are vacations, child care, communicating with your child when they are on visitation, transportation, birthdays, insurance, relocating, and permissible activities. Tax exemption for the children will also have to be discussed.

Prepare a plan with a win-win strategy in mind. The children will be happier and so will you if everyone agrees that the plan is fair. Kids have a right to love both parents and they are sensitive to any tension between the two most important adults in their lives.

Make it easy on yourself and your kids by focusing on their needs first. Treat your ex with respect as the other parent and nothing more. Operate with reason and compromise. You may not want to live under the same roof with each other anymore, but the other parent is going to be a part of your life at least until the kids are of age. Make it work.

Lil Lyon is passionate about kids having the best chance at life. She started:http://www.forchildcustody.com

to help parents deal with the tragedy of divorce. Casualties in divorce include kids and Lil helps parents through the murky waters of winning the best child custody plan for their kids.